What I learned Last Night. Friday Jan 31. West Seattle. Casey's condo. Female Panel.

What I learned last night:
1. This article is titled any of the following. You choose.
Female Friend's advice on getting over the old relationship.
Or The Rebound.
Or How to Handle an Italian Cookie Maker: Thwarting impending Italian Advances.
Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

When you make that transition from a serious relationship back into the real world (no small feat), there is something in particular you must do to complete this transition. Some would advise you a therapeutic rebound. And when you have at your disposal:
A: an evening in a room full of fertile foolery female friends salivating to share their experiences, love and life lessons learned, as well as one-liners, these opinions will be shared,
B: a lovely male Italian cookie maker-stalker -pastry chef-caricature of himself and all Italian stereotypes. This guy is that stereotypically Italian kind of handsome, with thicker, more high-maintenance hair then you have, fully equipped with a Vespa in his drive way, the Sopranos on DVD, a thick rolling R present in all his vocab, Corinthian style columns installed in his home in an Italian version of my Big Fat Greek Wedding kind of way, makes you the very very best risotto you have ever, ever had. And then hand feeds you...I'm telling you...Hand... friggin'... feeds you his dessert specially.... Any guesses what that could be?! Tiramisu. Naturally.... Plus brings Italian cookies made especially for you, and tells you to share them with your girlfriends... Then tells you all night how beautiful you are. In Italian. Stereotype. Caricature. Check.
When you have A and B at your disposal, the following is what you will learn that evening... The advice and personal opinions shared by this panel of females. You will find here some apropos advice, but more so you will find a little accolade of each friend’s personality. Of which each I just adore. So, Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one....

We’ll start with Robin: “If you are going to have a transitional guy, rebound style, always, always, do a hot Italian…with an accent…and money…This is how it is done.”

Casey, whom herself has dealt with the Italian job, follows closely in line with Robin “Do this for the story to tell later in life”. This Lorraine is in wholehearted agreement with. Or atleast after a bunch of tacos and red wine. A lovely combo I might add. Black Beans, sauteed onions peppers, mushrooms, Mexican spices, spinach, shredded cheddar, crunchy taco shell, homemade guacamole. Too many glasses of Australian Shiraz. Lovely…
Casey adds, “Oh and my new philosophy I learned from a kitshish magnet I saw in a airport. All good life advice can be found on magnets…. It read, “What the Hell?” ...As simple as that... “What the Hell.”… I apply this basic philosophy to all my male encounters in life now….I’m much happier…. Oh and I must not leave out this infamous words of wisdom Lorraine once gave me personally… 'What do you have to lose?' That was f-in sound advice…” Can’t say Casey ain’t honest.

Mary advises, “Make out with every guy you know. A little tits and ass.”
Mary sings a little tune “Tits and Ass…Tits and Ass…”
Mary continues, “A little feel...” Gestures with a hand up her shirt.
“But No Sex…" Waving her pointer finger in the air. "Although I do allow you one BJ. Oh and then go to his wedding…… The end!”
This ‘The End’ Mary punctuates with a flying fist punched straight into the air, eyes closed and a Freddie Mercury chagrin, an animation that conveys honesty and passion... And a puncuated defined ending point.

Robin: “Do him…Move on…”

Mary explains that during a transitional-rebound period in her dating life, she made out with a guy and later found out he had a girlfriend. “This was before Facebook…”

Madeline: You can trust Madeline’s approach any relationship: transitional, rebound, and otherwise. Despite her flirtatious and “I’m like rubber, you're like glue, bounces off me, sticks to you” exterior, Madeline is the most kind and gentle girl I know. She approaches every social situation in life with an open, trusting heart, and the assumption of the best. She’s kind and views the world through rose colored glasses. Practically Mother Theresa…. In fishnet stockings…. Madeline shares, only after being solicited for her opinion of course: “I do not trust myself to not get attached. You have to have a sense of where you stand. How much you’ve grown. A self awareness of how much you have healed. Self awareness…”

Casey, drunk Casey is the best Casey, chimes in “I think you need to have some sex…Think of it this way…advice my dear Russian friend once shared with me….'You’re the one fucking him'…My life has never been the same.”

Robin: “Back to the Italian man….The Italian dirty talk….Major bonus…”

I recede from all this Go-sex! advice, and the girls can feel it, so Gaby chimes in with a that mischievous smile: “Of course you do him!...He’s an Italian cookie maker. The logic follows… Plus he might be uncircumcised. Bonus.”....Conversation comes to an immediate derail...