What I Learned Last Night. Feb 16

1) A personal thank you to the bovine family. I had left over steak for lunch two days ago. Dear Bovine family, I am sorry I ate one of your own, but you can find comfort in the fact that I enjoyed your meat very much. As a side note bovine family, I am also sorry that one of yours is laying on my floor painted to look like zebra. This is terrible.

2) Film Feast. Movies with great food scenes are fun to reenact. Films such as Willy Wonka and 9 1/2 weeks. This does not include OldBoy. Gross.

9 ½ weeks is a film that carries one of the most recognizable food love scenes in history; the involvement of sexual tension and lovely Kim Basinger being fed cherries….Even jell-o is sexy when spoon fed to a blindfolded girl.
The following is a well researched method for how to reenact 9 1/2weeks successfully.
To re-enact 9 ½ you will need the following:
- scarf or blindfold
- one hedonistic smoking chef in blindfold
- one girl to feed blindfoldee
Keep your 9 ½ Weeks reenactment foods sweet and simple. Foods liked salad or pasta dishes will not work. The sweeter, more singular the taste, the simpler, the better. Simpler. Sweeter. Better.
The following are recommendations, each lab tested and approved and exceeded expectations:
- cherries
- sweet cream ice cream
- maple syrup
- dark chocolate
- sweet white wine. An Oregon Gewürztraminer does very nicely.

This 9 ½ weeks re-enactment can also be a meal replacement. No dinner necessary.

Other movies involving food to re-enact…. How about Marlon Brando plus butter, plus a personal moment with young girl in the film Last Tango in Paris?
Just kidding!!

3) My face hurts today. My lips are dry and chapped, sore and puffy. I’m thirsty. My checks are chaffed. The underside of my nose is red and beginning to peel. But when you reenact 9 ½ weeks what do you expect?